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Sure, Brandi Chastain’s plaque is a bust, but others have been worse

As you may have heard, the plaque honoring soccer star Brandi Chastain upon her enshrinement into the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame was a bit of a, er, bust.

So @annkillion says Brandi Chastain’s plaque for the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame is set to be redone. Which, you know, yes. pic.twitter.com/vdWQLHLv8G
— Grant Wahl (@GrantWahl) May 22, 2018

As you would expect, Chastain was diplomatic in the face of … that face. “It’s not the most flattering,” she said. “But it’s nice.”
Brandi, you’re a fine girl.
It might make her feel a little bit better to know this has happened before. Calling to order the roll call of busts and plaques gone wrong:
Believe it or not, it happened three times to Portuguese soccer legend Cristiano Ronaldo. No. 1 was commissioned by Nike, the sponsor of the Portugal national team. Swoosh! Strike one.

"Le statue de Ronaldo a Madrid" Le statue est fait par Nike, et Nike est sponsor de l'equipe du Portugal pic.twitter.com/3E2Nr5Ujvi
— Marky Mark☆★ (@steevy9915) April 6, 2013

Attempt No. 2 was located in Madeira, Portugal. It was quickly noticed that Ronaldo’s statue seemed happy to see him.

My favorite Cristiano Ronaldo statue is still the one where he has a half-chub pic.twitter.com/1uMOWH5PVU
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) March 29, 2017

This attempt was to celebrate the renaming of the Madeira international airport outside Funchal, the capital of Madeira island, Portugal, for Ronaldo in 2017. A nice gesture until the artist got it in his head that Ronaldo was part giraffe.

the ronaldo bust looks like a forgotten kennedy who didn't go into politics bc he committed too many minor crimes pic.twitter.com/sWL82EXLCm
— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) March 29, 2017

We move to Nationals Park in Washington, D.C., where famed pitcher Walter Johnson appears to be throwing about six baseballs with seven arms. Ever seen a hurler deliver a pitch while preparing to plop into a chair? Me either.

This statue of Walter Johnson is my favorite thing about Nationals Park. pic.twitter.com/0ngSB7cGYY
— Bryan Garcia (@BryanUF) April 5, 2014

This plaque hangs in the Baseball Museum and Hall of Fame in honor of Jackie Robinson, who broke baseball’s color barrier in 1947. I must have missed the chapter in the history book where Jackie was in a knife fight.

Jackie Robinson's plaque at the Hall of Fame! pic.twitter.com/2LSXnfdsYa
— Jackson Kaplan (@kaplan_jackson) August 15, 2013

You get 738 tries to identify this person who was “honored” with a sculpture installed in Celoron, N.Y., in 2009. Try comedic actress Lucille Ball, ostensibly about to quaff a spoonful of Vitametavegamin — culled from the Love Canal if its effects on Lucy are any indication.

Did the person who made that scary Lucille Ball statue also do Brandi Chastain's Hall of Fame plaque? pic.twitter.com/BMazmDXHhk
— Aimee Giese (@Greeblehaus) May 22, 2018

Fortunately in 2016, the statue dubbed “Scary Lucy” was replaced by a far better likeness that didn’t scare the vultures away.

The new statue of Lucille Ball. Great job!! pic.twitter.com/NiIKSxG4DY
— Vince Ruggiero (@VINCE_RUGGIERO) August 7, 2016

This is a gigantic, gold Elvis Presley statue in the middle of the desert, on the main highway connecting Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. I don’t know, you tell me.

Largest (16 ft. high) Elvis Presley statue in the world, 1 mile from Jerusalem, taken from my new book, Holy Ground. Please share. pic.twitter.com/DaxToPPl9t
— Dr. William P. Grady (@gradypubinc) April 1, 2017

Finally, there is this objet d’art honoring Michael Jackson — who kind of looked like a sculpture gone wrong in real life, come to think of it. A friend of Fulham FC soccer club owner Mohamed Al-Fayed, Jackson was immortalized with this statue. Initially intended to reside in one of Harrods luxury department stores, he wound up outside the Fulham FC stadium.

I was at Craven Cottage for the unveiling of the Michael Jackson statue in 2011. I struggled to keep it together… pic.twitter.com/fs6LOq4uh9
— Simon Peach (@SimonPeach) March 29, 2017

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